big story projectEdit
- The Angry Marine Relics may be mentioned in the new story.
- Angry Primaris, Angry Intercessor Squad, Angry Primaris Ancient Lieutenants and Captain Tantrumus Fuckingham (Angry Marines First and Only Primaris Captain).
- Angry Commissars, Commissar Fuklaw, Angry 'Serfs', Angry Gangers and Angry Razorbacks.
- Masters of Mindfuckery and Angry Chaplains which is not Chief Mindfucker Moarfistin or Reclusiarch Mofo.
- Angry Apothecarys and Angry Primaris Apothecarys.
- the old and new Master of the Armoury, Angry Techmarines and Kill-a-Tors. (Note: I've got an Angry Techmarine in my work-in-progress -- NoPoet)
- Angry Captain Satchel.
- Dick Haggard and Angry Veterans.
- Angry Squads with Angry Intercessors.
- Cock Knockers.
- Angry Reiver Squads, Angry Inceptor Squads, Angry Hellblaster Squads and Angry Repulsors.
- Silencer Ancients and Rachnus Rageous (Angry Marines Primarch).
- Fiery Aggressors, Black Brothers.
- Angry Titans. (Note: I'm working on these fuckers as of 12 December 2018 -- NoPoet)
- Belligerent Redemptor Dreadnought and how the Angry Marines handle this problem, quote from the Codex Adeptus Astartes (Space Marines)
- "It is whispered that the advanced systems of the Redemptor are a curse as well as a blessing. The Martian tech-savants that first built these walking machines of destruction spared little thought to the health of the incumbent, seeing him as little more than another part to be interred or replaced as necessary. Many of those Redemptors that have fought for a sustained period have already had their sarcophagi replaced, their original pilots burned out by the intensity of the machine's destructive prowess."
- and last but most importantly, Do the Angry Marine have a lack of toilet paper (copies off the codex Astartes) since the Fiery Aggressors came to the chapter?
Stories in progressEdit
NoPoet: I'm working on a story about Angry Marines commandeering a Warlord Titan (think Ian Watson's Space Marine with humour and lots of swearing). It's called "Tyranids vs Millennials vs Angry Titans: A Fucking Novella, or something". (The Millennial Falcons are kind of like a cult.) I have concentrated on the more heroic aspect of the Angry Marines in this one as I thought it would be fun to have a genuinely apocalyptic fight where they actually try to protect civilians, something we don't see often in 40K despite that basically being what Space Marines are there for! Don't worry, it in no way breaks the canon of the Angry Marines, and has a couple of nods to the original edition of 40K for long-term fans. A teaser:
[Removed as it's been rewritten with lots more crudity, insults and fucking swearing]
VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue (talk): More swearing a three exclamation points at the end of every sentence, but otherwise your on track for a fun looking story, that reminds me, I have two stories of my own to finish.
NoPoet: Cheers matey! There is nowhere near enough swearing at present (but still a lot). I'm near the end now, Titan v Dominatrix battle, gonna go through it from scratch and make it twenty times more insulting. Will need feedback when it's done. Yes, get your stories done!!! I'll add feedback to all stories in this thread once I've finished!
12/12/18 - Right, here is the full intro. Please abuse it with any and all criticism and let me know if it's a story you would want to carry on reading.
The Imperial world of Illis, located within the solar system Illis, within the Illis sub-sector (just in case there was any uncertainty about where rescuing Space Marines might have to go one day), was facing its destruction. Again. A shadow was cast across the Warp. Psykers began to go insane, raving about monsters and vast gulfs of time and space. Heathens on the planet thought their Lord Cthulhu was about to wake. The truth was even scarier: Hive Fleet Amemasu was coming, and it was hungry, and Planet Illis was its first course. The citizens were shitting themselves. Can you imagine being in their shoes? No, you fucking can't.
But worse news was to come. A previously small and ignored cult calling itself the Millennial Falcons had been on some kind of recruitment drive and had taken over more than half the planet. This wasn't a Chaos cult, they weren't being ruled by xenos puppeteers, they were just a load of morons who'd never had to strive or suffer and were trying to make damn sure they never did. Why should they, when there were already billions of Imperial Guard to do it for them? So instead of building defences, or learning how to use a lasgun, they instead sent a strongly-worded missive of protest to the Emperor himself, believing in their righteous wrath that He would pause His mental scrutiny of the universe, ignore the millions of other more important requests that came in every minute, and compensate the Millennial Falcons for some perceived misdeed that someone might have done to someone else some time. They didn't seem to realise that the Tyranid invasion of the Milky Way was not, in fact, the Emperor's fault, nor would the selfish cunts care if they did.
Governor Mellitus remained loyal to the Throne. He was able to send a message through to the wider Imperium outlining his world's situation and pleading for help. No astropath would send the message. They simply told him to do it him-fucking-self, they would no longer be discriminated against by being the only humans who sent any messages these days. So he used a cogitator of considerable power, battling through the constant pop-ups and directories full of lascivious images that had begun to choke his planet's data-net thanks to Millennial faggotry.
Days passed without response and the outlook was grim. Then, at last, they received a reply.
++ REINFORCEMENT REQUEST ACCEPTED ++
++ DEPLOYING THE ANGRY MARINES ++
List of Angry Marines Battle Barges and current status (as far as anyone can tell with the way the Angry nutters move around randomly crashing them in planets:
- IDONTCAREYOUNAMETHEDAMNTHING: currently busy ruining the day of Inquisitorial Stormtroopers sent there to protect an Ordo Hereticus Inquisitor investing grievious charges of heresy. As in: they're litteraly throwing the shitheads directly at Chaos Forces. Also under-furnished munition-wise due to some Administratum misunderstanding or other with the Commanding Officer of the ship: Captain Shitkicker.
- Killfuck Soulshitter: no current location known, believed to be tailing Ynnari forces to fuck with them. Sometimes in the first understanding of the word. Formerly under the command of Captain Asshole, currently leaderless after his (second) demise.
- Litany of Litany's Litany: in the process of being rebuilt yet another time after being used to slam into a planet again. Currently houses the Belligerent Redemptor Engine Cuntpounder. Believed to be under the command of either Captain Tantrumus Fuckingham or Reclusiarch Mofo.
- Maximum FUCK: rumoured to be the personnal Battle Barge of Chapter Master Temperus Maximus. Also undergoing repairs from repeatidly slamming into an ennemy's admiral ship. Then a planet. Then its moon. Then another Angry Marine Battle Barge that was trying to get in on the fun.
- Considerable Shouting: personnal Battle Barge of Librarian Moarfistin, the Extremely Cross. On its way through the Cicatrix Maledictum to kick some Blueberry ass.
- Suicidal Insanity: newly built (or acquired) Battle Barge given to joint Captain Tweedle Dick and Tweedle Cunt of the 'WHY DO WE HAVE TO FOLLOW THOSE CUNTS?!!!' Company. Busy ruining the Chaos forces in the Cicatrix' day.
- FUCKYOURSHIT: assumed to be a new Battle Barge acquired on the occasion of the Primaris reinforcement of the Chapter. Known to transport some of the Angry Reivers forces of the Chapter, as well as being the target of a Dark Angels' vendetta for some reason or other. Commanding Officer unknown.
- strike cruiser "DIPSHIT": read more on Codex - Angry Marines 8th Edition, Angry Marine Equipment, Melee Weaponry, Power Chair.
(Comment on the above: this is epic, why isn't this part of the main thread yet?? -- NoPoet P.S. In my Angry Titan story I've got a strike cruiser called the Cackumbabo, a Red Dwarf reference, but it gets destroyed)
WE’RE NOT IN THE FUCKING IMPERIUM NOW TOTO!!!Edit
Chief Mindfucker Moarfistin pulled his face out of the hot sand, being first surprised by the presence of the sand, only to be immediately pissed off by the fact that his bed was gone. “FUCKING SAND!!!” He screamed at the ground as he got to his feet “I’LL GLUE YOU BACKING INTO A FUCKING ROCK SO I CAN BREAK YOU A FUCKING APART AGAIN!!!” The sand around Moarfistin’s bare feet seemed to shy away from the irate psyker, and then to his horror the tiny grains of sand grew tiny sand legs and literally scurried away to reveal the previously covered black rock beneath. For one of the few times in his long life, Moarfistin was stunned, as terrifying and violent as he was, inanimate objects didn’t normally run away from him, the odd sandwich or bolter had done so once or twice, but millions of grains of sand growing legs specifically to run away, that was, to put it bluntly, fucking new. He started from the beginning, the last thing he remembered was getting out of his power armour after a long day of mind fucking weaboo cover campers, putting on his dressing gown (which was bright yellow and adorned with curse words and angry faces), got into bed and had been informed that his battle barge (Considerable Shouting) was about to jump into the warp to go to the next Tau worl...
“AWWW FUCK!!!” He screamed at the sky, which was blood red and roiling with the forms of contorted faces “I’M IN THE MOTHER FUCKING WARP!!!” When he got back to the materium he was going to fist his ships navigator and brutalise his anus with a thunder hammer. At no point did Moarfistin consider that he would never get back to his ship, he was simply too stubborn to think otherwise (just like every other Angry Marine). And with his mind set, Moarfistin picked out a random sandy hill in the distance, and began to stride towards it with a purpose only an angry marine in a dressing gown could possess, billions of grains of sand fleeing before him as he advanced upon the unfortunate land mark.
He heard them before he saw them, at first even his genetically enhanced hearing could only pick up the fact that something was making a noise somewhere in the distance beyond the hill, then he could tell that the noises were shouts, until, finally, the lone psyker began to crest the dune, upon which he could make out curse words on the immaterial breeze.
“YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!! IT WAS MY FUCKING TURN TO RIDE THE SLAUGHTER BRUTE!!!” “PASS US ANOTHER FUCKING PINT YOU BASTARD!!! I INTEND TO BE PROPERLY FUCKED BEFORE WE HIT THE NEXT HAMLET!!!” “YOU LOOKING FOR A FOIGHT YOU... (thump crash)!!!”
Intrigued by the distant shouting/fight, Moarfistin scrambled up the last few metres of the hill to gaze upon the other side, whereupon he was greeted by a sight that no other mortal had seen before. The landscape he saw was the same scenery he’s just come from, flat sandy planes with the odd sandy hill, all framed by the same red sky, but it was what was crawling, or rather, stumbling over that desert, which was truly remarkable. It was a pub, a rather large one, but a pub nonetheless. It was made of something which looked like bricks, which a roof that looked like it was made of tiles and square holes in the bricks which looked like they were full of glass, but this being the immaterium Moarfistin couldn’t be sure (they could be very unusually shaped genitals for all he knew). The pub (for that was what it was) slid its way across the sand, sometimes gliding a metre or so above it, only to come crashing back down to the desert with a muted thump, upon which it would slide around for a while before becoming airborne again, but all the while it kept on a roughly steady course. The large, moving pub was also where the shouting and swearing was coming from, and as Moarfistin watched as figure came catapulting out of one of the pubs first floor windows as if they’d been thrown out, landing with a thump onto the sand, the building carrying on regardless. It was only as the stranded figure got back up, swearing and shouting, and chased down and climbed back inside the still advancing pub, that Moarfistin realised that the person was actually an Angry Marine, their bright red and yellow armour standing out starkly against the sand.
Had he found his crew, or at least part of his crew thought Moarfistin, his dressing gown billowing in a light breeze as he stood atop the hill. “IF IT FUCKING IS THEM!!!” Whispered the psyker as he began to run towards the now retreating pub “TRUST THEM TO FIND A FUCKING BAR THE CUNTS!!!” The pub moved surprisingly fast, even by astartes standards, and Moarfistin only just managed to catch up with it as it bucked and veered wildly, almost as if it was trying to throw him off as he clambered, gasping, onto the stretch of cobbles which was somehow still attached to the pubs front, creating a metre wide walkway around the building. Inwardly, as Moarfistin lay on his back on the thin strip of ground around the impossible structure, he cursed that he’d never had to work so hard to find a pub in his long life, when his eyes were greeted by some graffiti above the building main door, with splashes of yellow paint scattered around as if a group had been fighting over the brush, apparently trying to name the pub with such names as:
The Pub at the Edge of the Materium
The Red Lion
The Man Emperors Head
The Sister of Battles flagon
The Drunk Guardsman
The Poker Den of the Manliest Fucks not to wear Power Armour
The Conscripts last Stop
Purveyor of “Genuine” Fenrisian Ale
The Ultramarines Leaky Anus
But all the names but one had been crossed out with a surprisingly neat line of red paint, with the only remaining name left not crossed out being:
THE FUCKING PUB!!!
Moarfistin admired the simplicity of the remaining stretch of paint, it was definitely accurate, as emanating from the building he could smell strong drink, and hear the deafening roar of a good fight, all of which were the trademarks of any pub. Deciding that regardless of what he found inside the building he’d at least get a brawl, and at best a drink and maybe a reunion with some of his subordinates, Moarfistin strode to the pubs large double doors, and opened them the only way you should open a pub door, by kicking it, very hard.
Inside the pub, as Moarfistin had surmised, there was a fight going on. Angry Marines clambered over each other to swing punches, while others picked up flimsy looking wooden furniture to bring it crashing down on a yellow helmet, while at the bar marines were taking it in turns to slam each others heads into the wooden counter top (being careful not to spill any drink he noticed though). Through all this chaos trotted honey badgers, jumping at a unsuspecting marines to bite them on the crotch pad, or jumping up on tables to down unguarded drinks. In short, it reminded him a lot of the first angry pub he'd been to.
Something was obviously wrong about this particular pub. Firstly, it was flying around in the warp, which (even by angry marines standards) is not suitable real estate for a drinking establishment. Secondly, all the Angry Marines had red, glowing eyes and the angry faces on their armour would morph to pull new, crude faces or scream swear words. Thirdly, it was the deamonette behind the bar. Admittedly, this one was dressed, wearing a t-shirt over their multitude of breasts which said "I work here for the literal kicks" and was pulling pints with their three arms.
It was at this point, that the rest of the bar noticed Moarfistin standing in the (now broken) doorway, with yellow heads swivelling in place to gaze, with warp red glares, at the material arrival. This stare off continued for about the time it took for everyone in the pub to think "WHO'S THIS CUNT?!!!" before someone threw a punch and the fight restarted, and everything looked as it had for a second ago, all except for the deamonette, who was know staring at Moarfistin, pulling pints apparently forgotten.
The deamonette broke the proverbial silence (the pub being about as far from silence as a guardsman is from being safe). “Look, if you want to stand in a hole in the wall all night we have a perfectly serviceable gloryhole in the toilets,” said the deamonette, it’s teeth dancing around it’s too wide mouth like drunk dancers in a washing machine “or cum (and yes, the daemon did somehow manage to say cum and not come) inside and sit your arse on a chair before I stick something up it.” This last part was accompanied by it flexing one of its crab claws threateningly/erotically, snatching another hand away from the bar before it was crushed by a helmeted head.
Conflicted, would have been the word (or rather “FUCKING CONFLICTED!!!”) Moarfistin would have used to describe his current state of mind, on one hand “FUCKING DEAMONS!!!”, they may be shaped like angry marines and may be behaving in the most angry marines like way, but they were definitely demons. On the other hand, he didn’t have a proper weapon, was drastically outnumbered, and if these angry marines were demons, why weren’t they, and the deamonette for that matter, attacking him? Cautiously as an angry marine could, the lone real marine in a sea of unreality, strode into the bar and sat down in front of the bar proper, punching a demon marine in the face to create some room.
“See,” said the deamonette with the same dancing smile “that wasn’t so “hard” was it? Now would you like a drink?” It added, waving a crap claw at the array of mismatched and dented beer pumps in front of it “and don’t worry, I don’t add drugs to the beer anymore, not since the clientele “complained”” Moarfistin surveyed the beer on display, there was the ““real” fenrisian ale” which had been advertised outside which sat next to a pump labelled in big, red letters “FOR POOR BASTARD GUARDSMEN!!!” While at the far end of the a pump advertised simply “HONEY BADGER PISS!!!” Shuddenering at the memory of the times in his youth that he had drunk honey badger piss Moarfistin chose the simply named (and most popular as it happened) “FUCKING BEER!!!” “One FUCKING BEER!!!” Responded the deamonette (Somehow managing to shout the exclamation marks) in a voice like broken glass across whipped flesh, and grabbed an empty glass from a passing marine, filled it up, and slammed it onto the counter top.
Moarfistin examined the liquid as he picked up the glass. It looked like beer, it even had bubbles, although the bubbles did seem to be cowering on the opposite side of the glass to his accusing stare. “Well,” sniggered the demonette “bottoms up, we do do “cock”tails if your not feeling up to...” but the rest of it’s snide remark was lost as Moarfistin grabbed it by the throat and squeezed. “I WILL FUCKING DRINK AT MY OWN SPEED YOU BETENTACLED WHORE!!!” Shouted Moarfistin, downing his drink to the cheer of nearby demon marines. It wasn’t the best beer he had tasted, but it was definitely beer he thought as he smashed the glass into the demonettes face, but it was certainly better than what the apothecaries made on the considerable shouting. It was a moment before Moarfistin realised that the sounds of fighting had stopped, and that a shadow had fallen across him and the choking demonette, a large, towering shadow which looked remarkably like that created by terminator armour.
Slowly, Moarfistin rotated on his stool, dragging the almost unconscious deamonette across the bar top by its neck as he turned. The shadow was indeed being cast by a terminator, a towering marine with eyes like piecing, dying suns. “I WOULD ASK THAT PATRONS DO NOT DO NOT FUCKING ASSAULT MEMBERS OF STAFF!!!” Whispered the terminator, in a voice like tomb stones turning in place, as with one giant hand it prized Moarfistins grip from the deamonettes partially crushed throat “IT IS A FUCKING BALL ACHE TO FIND REPLACMENTS!!! IT TOOK US A YEAR TO FIND ANOTHER FUCKING PLAGUEBEARER TO CLEAN OUT THE SHIITERS AFTER SOMEONE HAD THE FUCKING BRIGHT IDEA TO THROW SOAP AT IT!!!” Moarfistin just day stunned at the sight of the metal behemoth, as he had just recognised the glowing red graffiti of a bucket with flies circling it on its chest. “SHIT BUCKET!!!” Shouted the mortal as he jumped to his feet (crushing one of the deamonettes claws beneath his feet) “BUT YOUR FUCKIBG DEAD YOU BASTARD!!! YOU JUMPED OUT OF OUR SHIP IN ORBIT ONTO THE HEAD OF A DEMON CUNTING PRINCE!!! WE MOURNED YOUR AWESOME FUCKING DEATH WITH A WEEK LONG BOOZE UP AND FIGHT!!!”
“YES IT IS FUCKING I!!!” Boomed the definitely dead terminator “SARGEANT SHIT BUCKET!!! AND THANK YOU FOR REMEMBERING MY AWESOME FUCKING DEATH!!! NOW COME WITH ME YOU BASTARD, THERE IS MUCH YOU MUST KNOW!!!” Sensing the fading tension a honey badger in the crowd leapt from floor height to bite a marine around the neck, restarting the temporarily postponed fight. “COME YOU MORTAL SHIT HEAD!!!” Said Shit Bucket, leading Moarfustin away from the bar and towards a tiny staircase to its side “I WILL FILL YOUR STUPID FUCKING HEAD IN UPSTAIRS IN MY OFFICE!!!”
Five minutes later, Moarfistin was sitting on a tiny office chair in an equally tiny office on the top floor of the pub, a pint in both hands, while Sargeant Shit Bucket sat opposite him in an equally small chair, flicking through a few piles of paper and occasionally glazing at a book titled “PUB MANAGEMENT FOR FUCKING DEAD TERMINATOR SARGEANTS WHO KNOW FUCK ALL ABOUT PUB MANAGEMENT!!!”. “SO!!!” Started Shit Bucket “I’LL JUST DIVE STRAIGHT INTO THE STEAMING PILE OF SHIT WHICH IS YOUR CURRENT PREDICAMENT!!! WELCOME TO THE FUCKING PUB!!! THE LAST RESTING PLACE FOR ALL THE ANGRY ARSEHOLES DEEMED ANGRY ENOUGH TO BE ANGRY ENOUGH TO BE ANGRY FOR FUCKING ETERNITY!!!” “SO!!!” Mused Moarfistin (who up to this point in his life had never mused before) “THIS IS THE FUCKING AFTERLIFE FOR FUCKING ANGRY CUNTS LIKE US?!!!”
“FUCKING EXACTLY!!!” Shouted the terminator, slamming his armoured fist onto the table before him “YOU WERE ALWAYS TOO FUCKING CLEVER FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!!! OR RATHER, ALL THE ANGRY CUNTS FROM YOUR FUCKING EXCUSE OF A SHIP COME HERE!!! EACH BATTLE BARGE HAS ITS OWN FUCKING PUB!!! EACH ONE RUN BY THE ANGRIEST AND MOST AWESOME BASTARD AROUND!!!” At this, Shit Bucket stabbed a massive finger at a small sign on his tiny desk which read “SARGEANT SHIT BUCKET, FUCKER IN CHARGE AROUND HERE!!!”. “AND IT JUST SO HAPPENS THAT FOR THIS PARTICULAR SHITTY ESTABLISHMENT, I AM THE ONE IN CHARGE!!! ITS MY FUCKING JOB TO ENSURE WE HAVE ENOUGH BEER AND FUCKING CRISPS!!! I HIRE OR RATHER, FUCKING KIDNAP DEMONS TO WORK AS STAFF!!! I DRAG IN THE NEWLY FUCKING DEAD AND ITS MY UNFORTUNATE FUCKING PRIVILEGE TO BRING THE RARE MORTAL CUNT UP TO SPEED WHEN THEIR SHIPS GELLAR FUCKING FIELD FUCKING BREAKS!!!” For a moment, the dead marine and the live one just glared at each other, the angry marine equivalent of polite silence, until an intercom buzzed into life on the desk. “THIS IS FUCKING SHIT BUCKET SPEAKING YOU WORTHLESS PILE OF DEMON SEMON!!!” Screamed the demon manager at the intercom. “Go suck a dick you angry bastard!” Said a none marine voice from the intercom, “The bloodthirster’s slaughterbrute has been killed again and he’s fucking threatening to leave! I’ve kicked him in the balls to shut the demon bastard up but he’ll wake up soon! Shall I just stove his shit head head in like the last one?!” “NO LINDA!!!” Screamed Shit Bucket back at the intercom, which was now visibly cowering away towards the table edge, “I’LL FUCKING SORT IT OUT MYSELF LATER!!! JUST KEEP KICKING HIM IN THE CUNT TO KEEP HIM FUCKING UNCONSCIOUS UNTIL IVE FINISHED WITH MOAR-FUCKING-FISTIN!!!” And at that the manager slammed his fist into the intercom, decisively ending the conversation.
“THAT WAS FUCKING LINDA MY SECRETARY/CHIEF ENFORCER!!!” Said Shit Bucket as he took a drink from his own pint “SHE WAS AN ANGRY SERF WHO WAS FUCKING UNLUCKY ENOUGH TO FALL INTO THE WARP LIKE YOU DID!!! THE BITCH IS FUCKING TERRIFYING TO THE POINT THAT EVEN THE FUCKING HONEY BADGERS DONT TRY AND CLAW HER CUNT OUT!!!” Moarfiatin mafe a mental note of this, he would very much like to meet a mortal who could scare a honey badger. “SO I’M NOT THE FIRST LIVE CUNT TO TURN UP HERE?!!!” Asked Moarfistin, who was now growing uncomfortable at being so out of the loop. “NA!!!” Scoffed Shit Bucket “YOU LIVE BASTARDS SEEM TO TURN UP WHENEVER YOU FUCKING WANT IT SEEMS!!! MOST OF THE HEAD CUNTS HAVE BEEN HERE AND FUKLAW HOLDS THE MANLIEST FUCKS IN THE GALAXY TO NOT WEAR POWER ARMOUR POKER NIGHTS IN ONE OF THE PUBS WHEN ITS HIS TURN!!!” At this, the terminator pointed to a rather large hole in the offices wall when had been inexpertly bricked up “I’VE HAD TO BAN FUCKING CREED THOUGH BECAUSE HE KEEPS TURNING SHIT INTO BANEBLADE CANONS OR FUCKING LASER DESTRUCTORS!!! EVERY SO OFTEN SOME OF THOSE ANGRY CUSTODES CUNTS TURN UP TO TAKE SOME OF THE LADS OUT FOR A GOOD FIGHT IN REAL SPACE!!!”
Moarfistin just stared at the terminator perched on the tiny office chair. This, was all a lot to take in, it at least explained where commissar Fuklaw would go to in the evenings. “SO!!!” Started Shit Bucket, politely (for an angry marine) covering for the psykers confusion “I IMAGINE THAT YOU DONT GIVE A RATS HAIRY BOLLOCKS ABOUT WHO COMES HERE!!! YOU JUST WANT TO GET THE FUCK OUT!!!” This, Moarfistin could understand and relate to. “FUCK YES!!!” He replied, downing the last of his two pints “SO WHERES THE FUCKING WAY OUT?!!!” At this, the terminator pulled out a scrap of paper and a tiny ballpoint pen, holding it as carefully as possible in his dustbin lid sized hand. “YOUR OPTIONS ARE FUCKING LIMITED!!!” Said Shit Bucket, entering a lecturing mode that reminded Moarfistin that the terminator had once been a Chaplain “YOUR FIRST ONE IS TO BE FUCKING IMPORTANT ENOUGH THAT YOU CAN JUST DO IT WHENEVER YOU FUCKING NEED TO!!! BUT AS THIS IS YOUR FIRST FUCKING TIME, THATS NOT AN OPTION FOR YOU!!!” At this he put a bulletpoint and added “plot” next to it. “NEXT, YOU CAN WAIT FOR THOSE CUSTODES CUNTS TO PULL YOU OUT OF HERE BY CHANCE, BUT THOSE FUCKERS ARE RARE SO THAT OPTIONS FUCKING SHITE!!!” “Stuck up cunts” was added to the list. “YOU CAN RANDOMLY POP BACK INTO REAL SPACE AS WELL LIKE A LIMP DICK OUT OF A CUNT, BUT THATS EVEN MORE UNLIKELY!!!” The colossal hand wrote “dice rolling”, slightly tearing the paper with the pens bib as he did so. “THAT LEAVES US WITH THE LAST TWO, MORE FUCKING LIKELY OPTIONS!!! FIRST, YOU CAN WAIT FOR YOUR FUCKING EXCUSE OF A SHIP TO REENTER THE WARP, THERES A BROKEN DOWN WHIRLWIND BY THE BINS OUT BACK WE CAN THEN FIRE YOUR SORRY ASS AT THE FUCKING SHIP!!! THE SECOND OPTION IS THAT YOU MIND FUCK YOUR WAY BACK INTO REALSPACE!!! YOU BEING A MIND FUCKING AND ALL!!!”
Discussion on the storiesEdit
VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue (talk): I don’t actually know where the Angry Marines stand on the magpies, they either see them as direct competition for “gifts” from other chapters or as considerably less angry brothers in arms. Not a bad idea, although the codex Astarte is still an excellent book on war, at most I think girly man would modify it to allow for larger chapter sizes. Pick any of the topics and write a story as long it as short as you want, although I’m currently writing one for the fiery aggressors and the lack of bog roll and try to make them longer than the codex fluff pieces.
VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue (talk): I think I’ll be going with some variety of raiding the ultramarines shrine to the spiritual liege (perhaps on macrag). Good idea, just remember that the redemptor dreadnoughts are for primaris Marines, fluff wise at the moment they’re a punishment for angry primaris marines who died badly in battle, but the story of an angry pilot arguing with the machine spirit of his redemptor dreadnought would be brilliant.
first of all, Commissar Fuklaw is not a mutant from X But who must have welding mask on to avoid destroying everything he's looking at. My idea of his Death Stare, is that when he stare down at a person in his rage, there is a chance that the person's head will explode because of the undiluted RAGE being channeled at that person. only Fuklaw is enough of a badass to execute Angry Marines. Suggestions for names for THE COOL PLACE: MARYSUE, the eye of MARYSUE, the garden of the Spiritual liege.
Dark Squirrel (talk) Created an account to make things easier. Got on question on the Primaris Angry Marines: what kind of names would they have? They are not 'proper' Angry Marines, so I doubt using the standard pattern of piling up curses and swears would do it. Asking cause I'm trying to find what to call the first one to be intered in the Belligerant Redemptor (at which time the Angry Marines discovered exactly what it does).
VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue (talk): I didn't write in a good enough reason for why fuklaw would bbe so angry at that time to need it, fluff wise fuklaw can glare anything into a puddle so its not too far off the truth. The shrine of ward will be placed inside the garden of the spiritual liege, although the best idea so far as to the location of the webway portal to the shrine is via SOLEMNANCE, as it allows trashy the incontinent to be included in the story and as this is a story around wardian lore its not impossible for a webway portal to be on a tomb world. Although I do think that the destruction of the shrine would create the eye of marysue, that would be cool. For important primaris marines they get given new names (like tantrumus fuckingham) but the topic isn't something we have covered yet, personally I think that they would keep their old space marine name until they are deemed important enough for a new one. But as your the first person to really cover such fluff feel free to make something up that feels right, that is, after all, what most of the angry marine fluff is.
VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue (talk): Sounds like an excellent idea for a story, the conflict the angry marines go through when confronted with a silencer for the first time, seeing them as not one of them but still bound my some quirk of their geneseed or the warp to respect them. I don't know whether SUElemnance should be what the head of ward calls the planet or the name the angry marines give it upon arrival, any ideas?
Dark Squirrel (talk) Don't forget the horror the Silencer feels when he first sees them. Also, I'll be using the fact that Cawl made Primaris out of all 20 Legions to justify Primaris Angry Marines: Desert Fangs put in stasis.
VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue (talk): There is a third chapter I'm working on for the story but its beginning to feel a bit weird, the premise being that the chapter master gives the head of ward to a angry serf and a irritated commissar who were suitably angry cunts, and ordered them to get the shrine of ward while the rest of the angry marines deal with the followers of nurgle and tzeentch who who surprise attacked them. They are then joined by a fiery agressor, an angry tech priest and maybe commissar fuklaw, the group then escapes the ship by firing themselves off it in an angry rhino into open space, I have no fucking idea how they get to the shrine of ward from there though, or how to introduce 4 brand new characters into the story that I have pulled out of my arse and make it convincing and not forced.
Dark Squirrel (talk) I'd say go with the existing characters that fit the roles, i.e. Fuklaw, Mightylypissedoff, and a serf and aggressor. That'd give us an excuse to write stories about them. As to how they get there, try 'punching their way through the collections until they reach the right one'. And maybe add a Silencer so that Trollzyn has one more reason to chase them around Benny Hill style.
VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue (talk): The neither side has a nickname for the other as far as I know, think of a good one and then there will be, thats the perks of fluffing where no one has fluffed before. And when I say I don't know how they get to the planet I mean that I dont know how to get them from a angry rhino drifting through space to the planet, my only good idea is that trashy the incontinent picks them up as he's after the head of ward as well, and they get out of his base by fucks knows.Silencer, Angry serf, fiery aggressor, Fuklaw Moarfistin i think (they'll be up against nurgle at some point and he has a hatred for nurglings). Post it here first, once I've done chapter three I'll move it to the main page and title it as a work in progress, freeing up space for your story here.
VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue (talk): I'd go with "THE SILENT ANGRY CUNTS", amateurs implies that they world eater wannabes or worst but they're never refereed to as such. I know that 40k plays a bit hard and fast with science and what not, but unfortunately you can't punch space to get through it, unless of course you wholeheartedly believe you can in which case its the warp doing the work for you, maybe use concentrated fury in someway?
As far as renaming goes I don't think that's an option, belligerent engine is the name which has been used for a long time and its been used in a fair few stories and fluff pieces, although there's nothing stopping you changing it really it would be going against the fluff, your best off talking to the doc about that one if you really want to change it.
Just ensure that angry marines talk in CAPS LOCK AND HAVE PLENTY OF FUCKING EXCLAMATION MARKS!!! personally I use !!! with angry marines and ! for serfs and other non-caps lock characters.
- to Dark Squirrel: There is nothing I would change in your story.
- to VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue: I think you should go with them being picked up by Trollzyn. and why does Temperus Maximus have brown teeth?
about A Literal Shit Storm, Chapter 4:
- Mightilypissedoff, his servo arms sticking out of the driver hatch as they fired balls of plasma at anything the tanks missed
- Mightilypissedoff's servo arms Do not have a built-in Plasma Cutter, so how can he shoot plasma with his servo arms? but since he is a madman and very angry mechanical genius, so it would not surprise me that he has invented Plasma Cutters it can be handled and fired by servo arms.
- “FUCK YOU FUKLAW!!!” came Mightilypissedoff’s reply from the driver’s compartment “I HAVEN’T BROKEN THIS BITCH TOASTER IN YET!!! WE ONLY “BORROWED” IT TODAY BUT IT WILL FUCKING LEARN!!!” The Rhino’s engine and machine spirit roared at this and began to swerve from side to side, managing to unbalance even the commissar until the sound of a control panel being punched repeatedly began emanating from the drivers hatch. “STILL THINK YOU WORK FOR THE FUCKING BLUEBERRIES DO YOU?!!!”
- Mightilypissedoff is an angry techmarine yes, but I imagine he's more "professional" (uses less blunt force trauma) with the way he manages machines than other angry techmarines, because he completed his training on Mars and he is an angry mechanical genius.
- the last horror to emerge from the tunnel collapsed to the ground screaming, and then vanished, as if an invisible wall had just engulfed it. Whatever it was began to catch up with the rest of the demons, who one by one also began to collapse and vanish back into the warp.
- At present, Silencer Ancients has no ability against Daemon's, but after reading this, I consider giving them an aura ability that gives -1 Ld to Daemons and Psykers.
- “WELL THAT WAS FUCKING DISSAPOINTING!!!” remarked a very pissed off Mightilypissedoff “I GUESS I’LL HAVE TO FIGHT YOU, YOU COMMISSARY CUN…” and stopped, fist in mid-air, as a familiar calm began to settle over the two for the second time that day. “CAN YOU STOP FUCKING DOING THAT?!!! I’M TRYING TO KEEP AN UNFOCUSSED AND ANGRY FUCKING MIND HERE; CAN’T YOU SEE I’M TRY TO START A FUCKING FIGHT HERE!!!” screamed Fuklaw despite the oppressive blankness threatening to engulf his mind, as a Silencer Ancient emerged from the corridor, followed by a Fiery Aggressor, who was obviously in a bit of distress being so close to a psychic null. “AND DO YOU EVEN HAVING A CUNTING NAME?!!! FUCK IT YOUR CUNT FROM NOW ON!!!” Cunt sighed behind his helmet, his name was actually Azriel the Sand Shrouded, and once upon a time he had been one of the Desert Fangs captains, before he’d been stupid enough to accept his Primarch’s order to “Keep an eye on my descendants” and that “everything will be fine”, he could be in the eye of terror right now annihilating demon worlds, instead he was putting up with a mere mortals (admittedly that mortal was Fuklaw) complaints.
- where did their respect / silence for Silencer Ancients disappear to?
- One of the most amazing things about Angry Marine equipment and particularly vehicles, apart from how angry they all are, is that they work at all, as somehow not only will they work with limited maintenance; but can be also repaired (as demonstrated by Mightilypissedoff) by inflicting blunt force trauma to the offending item/vehicle. And as the angry tank filled with even angrier and swearing (and groaning) marines sped off once again through the corridors and chambers of the Maximum Fuck this point becomes even more confusing when you consider that the machine spirits of angry marine vehicles are not cooperative things. The machine spirit of the Angry Rhino which Mightilypissedoff was now driving/fighting for dominance for example, cared not one bit for its passengers, and would quite happily drive them into a pulp, and then piss oil on what was left just to drive the point home, so why it had allowed itself to be driven then violently repaired is a mystery to all. If anyone on board had cared enough to ask the Rhino why it was putting up with their shit they would have just got the usual growling roar of a reply, because not even the Rhino knew why, it didn’t even have the required to express an appropriate answer if it had one. The only plausible explanations which are available are that Angry Marines are a little like orks in that their dogged determination makes stuff work, or that the vehicles in question make themselves work because they know that the Angry Marines are the only beings capable of providing them with a good fight.
- This part I personally find to not belong in a story ... It's more a description or an explanation than a story.
VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue (talk): I’ll just delete that chapter, I’ve been rather struggling to write something good for it so I can get to the merry band of swearing explorers being picked up by a certain robot magpie, escaping (probably via creed in some capacity) onto the planet along with the arrival of the Angry Marines, grey knights, eldar (and maybe dark eldar) along with anyone else who was fucked over by ward. I’ll probably through in a crystal skull type scene where the Angry explorers raise the head of ward above their heads to part a throng of followers of the ward. Any suggestions on how fuklaw and Mightilypissedoff meet the silencer (who will probably still be called cunt) along with the fiery aggressor (who still needs a name) would be appreciated.
Dark Squirrel (talk) Sorry about disappearing, I'll be getting to work on the Angry Intercessors story. Got an idea that involves a three-way clusterfuck between them, Alpha Legion, and Kommandos. The Alpha wouldn't even understand what's going on because it makes no sense to them and the Orks don't understand why 'da yellow gits are sneakin' when dey shoul' be 'splodin'. Sounds good to you?
VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue (talk): Sounds like a plan, you could throw cypher or trashy the incontinent as well if you want to other characters to pin down, but you’ve probably got enough with Angry Marines, ork and the alpha legion. I haven’t touch my story for a while as I keep getting distracted by making rules for titanic models, that and finding a job.
Dark Squirrel (talk) I'm not completly satisfied with the ending either, but I didn't want to include a whole other section about 'vanilla' Angry Marines kicking Dark Angel asses. Though I could do it by using some of the other Angry units that need stories. I'll think about it.
How Is The Doc (talk): Yes, Silencers sound like a good idea. and now when we are on the topic of Desert Fangs, it could also inform people about what Rachnus Rageous (Angry Marines Primarch) has been doing for the last many years?
VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue (talk): Dark Squirrel, that story was brilliant, I was sniggering while reading through the whole thing, also, we're totally going to write rules for Angry Reiver Sergeant Asshole McCuntsface, especially as he'd be the first such special character for the reivers, not even vanilla space marines have such a model. Also, now that the angry marines have so many battle barges, can we have "battle barge" tactics (like chapter tactics, but chapter tactics within chapter tactics), or would that we taking the rules a bit too far?
How Is The Doc (talk): "battle barge" tactics would be taking the rules a too far. since both ULTRAMARINES and space wolves have a Sergeant special character (Astra Militarum has 2-5 of them) I think that sounds like a good idea that Angry Marines should also have one, but do we agree that it should be "Angry Reiver Sergeant Asshole McCuntsface" and not another Sergeant, such as the Sergeant who is in the "Induction" story?
Dark Squirrel (talk) They have a little shy of ten Battle Barges, which is more than most well-known Chapters do, I think. I also believe the Induction story could be rewritten just a bit, to add CAPITAL LETTERS to the 'proper' Angry Marines speak.
VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue (talk): Yeah it is a strange story in that regard, and the angry marines in it seem like a bunch of dicks instead of just incredibly angry, the story needs at least capitalisation. Is there a up to date list of all the battle barges? I know that I myself made up at least 1 new battle barge (the suicidal insanity, and if you hadn't already noticed it a reference to a ship in the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy), we should probably limit the number of new battle barges being created or write in the fluff how they're smaller than average or something.
Dark Squirrel (talk) There, I have added what we know about their CO. A couple don't have any, it might make for some story hooks in the future. I'll get down to rewriting Induction in the evening. I'd also suggest cleaning up this discussion page since half the post are picture spam or just spam.
VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue (talk): It also allows us to make sure we don’t put someone else in charge of a battle barge who shouldn’t be there, and where do they build Angry marine battle barges? Could make for a good angry tech priest story. Speaking of photos, I’ve finally finished painting 5 Angry intercessors, 1 primaris lieutenant and 1 primaris apothecary, the faces can be a bit off but apart from that I think they’re very cool, should I post them here before they get added to the codex page?
Dark Squirrel (talk) I'll add something to the essence that nobody is really sure where they keep getting those Battle Barges from: stealing them or somehow making them. That's yet another hook. Yup, put them here, wait a little for some feedback from someone other than either The Doc or me, and then add them if the feedback is good or nonexistent.
Just added my version of Induction, changed so it fits more the Angry Marines. Is it better?
Dark Squirrel (talk) Quick questions: do I put the new Induction on the main page, is it alright if I create an 'Organisation' part on the page to put the Battle Barges part and add something about the way we know they are (dis)organised, and are you good with the Sandstorm pattern of Terminator armor?
- The new induction story is good to go, I don’t know whether we replace the old induction story with it or put induction v2 in as its own story.
- The more the merrier so yes, create an organisation chart, if you really wanted you could come up with armour design variations for each of the battle barges, although that would take a very long time.
- The sandstorm patterns a go, it’s slightly faster than normal (6 or 7” movement), comes with all the melee weapons and enhances a nulls effect. The downside on having silencers in your army (which is why I haven’t run one yet) is that they remove your charge bonus for Angry Marines.
- I'll come up with something (without going into anything like what they do at the Lexicanum cause I can't be bothered), but I'm shite at drawing, so no badges from me.
- Perfect, I'll use that in a story then. Next will be about the first meeting with a Silencer, and will be done when it will be done.
- There is an important detail I would like to have your opinion about the Sandstorm pattern of Terminator armor; Should it have built-in Digital-weapons, a built-in Rapid Fire pistol or neither?
- and another thing about the Sandstorm pattern of Terminator armor; It is not faster but is more flexible. shortly said, It's easy to make a circle kick in it.
- since I have copied the original Induction story to the Discussion page, I think we should replace it.
- organisation chart; be my guest.
- Not sure why you'd want to put in digital weapons (unless to stick with Rachnus' picture with the whole finger blade thing?), and d'you mean an Inferno Pistol?
- Digital, the armour is from pre heresy times so should be significantly more advanced than what is currently available, and the desert fangs would have had the resources as a founding chapter to do so.
- In terms flexibility should that be an extra attack over a normal terminator/Tartarus pattern or an additional special rule?
- Replace it it is then.
- Ideally we’ll have a codex model to represent each of the battle barges if possible, if that’s not possible now then it can be fleshed out via stories in the future, we can’t let the ultrasmurfs have more special characters than the Angry Marines after all.
- digital-weapons can also be a mini heavy weapon, and Rachnus Rageous's The Fangs of RAGING Desert has no description what they are ... yet.
- No, I mean something like a bolt pistol with two shots.
- Its flexibility is represented in the fact that you can use so many weapons in close quarters.
- The Angry Marines already have more special characters than the ultrasmurfs.
Dark Squirrel (talk) * Either is fine with me, and as Silencers are the bodyguards of Rachnus (of sorts, at least), it would make sense they have similar wargear. Careful not to make too overpowered, especially compared to other founding Chapters that would also have the resources and knowledge to create their own special pattern of Terminator (Iron Hands, for example).
- By a codex model, do you mean a drawing or an actual photograph? Also, agreed, they already have a shiton of special characters.
VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue (talk): Moarfistin was angry enough to make grains of sand flee him, but the story will end with Moarfistin getting back to his ship after starting a huge immaterial fight to create enough Angry warp energy to create a tear back into the materium. The pub is the immaterial manifestation of the warp influence of the Angry Marines on the considerable shouting, with the marines being angry spirits, the “souls” of dead Angry Marines who fight and drink for all eternity.
VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue (talk): Effectively yes, we know that normal marines come back as legionaries of the damned, and we have no stories on what the warp is like under the presence of the Angry Marines, so I thought it would be cool (and fluffy as Angry Marines have such incredible will that their consciousness would be able to remain whole while in the warp) for the souls of dead Angry Marines to hang out in a pub for all eternity fighting and drinking (and ordering in pizza, but I haven’t figured out how to fit that in yet). The pub also moves because it’s anchored to the presence of Angry Marines in real space, in this case the marines on the battle barge considerable shouting, was putting Moarfistin in a dressing gown (admittedly only covered in angry faces) too much?
VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue (talk): What would an Angry marine wear to bed, space Marines don’t wear their armour all the time (except for the inceptors who have had their jet packs glued to their backs).
VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue (talk): Of course you can discuss stories here, we need as many people writing stories for the angry marines as possible, what in particular would you like to write about?
VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue (talk): I’m fairly sure that someone did create a codex angry tyrannids back in the day when it was all the rage to have angry versions of a faction (I’m sure there were angry eldar for a while). What is the current fluff on tyranids using space marine dna?
Hobo Soldier (talk) its possible to tyranids to get the DNA of space marines its up to the hive mind though if the tyranids should use it and a threat like the angry marines might call for heavy changes to ensure the galaxy is consumed
VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue (talk): I was more wondering if there are any fluff examples of tyranids using space marine dna, because man emperor knows that a fair few marines have been consumed over the years. We don’t have any stories of angry marines fighting tyranids so I say go right ahead, although you’ll have to decide on whether you want the tyranids to be a hive mind or a single mind (we don’t actually know which it is).
VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue (talk): I don’t actually know of any guides, mostly I rely on others ripping my work to pieces and a sometimes reliable instinct for poor writing. The best thing is to get someone to tell you what’s wrong with your work and restart/edit to take their criticism into account.
There's links to two codicks at the bottom of the page, both geared to previous editions of the game (with the "updated" one not even having its pages in the right order, for shame).
Improvement Drive TimeEdit
The Angry Marines page is still among the most popular and most celebrated. And for good reason. But... with the passage of time... the quality of the page might have deteriorated a little bit. SOOooo...! If you think you have a couple ideas to improve the page -- a little bit here, a little bit there -- step right to it! Also, if you can, scour the web for more ANGRY MARINES pics and then add them to the gallery. There's a lot of win here. --MercWithMouth (talk) 10:28, 18 April 2013 (UTC)
I suggest we move the writefaggotry to a separate article (or multiple ones). If nobody objects, I'll do it in a while. Fatum 22:29, 17 October 2012 (BST)
I've finished up on a revised Angry Marine codex (new units and shit, see my User page for details), I want to know: how do I upload it onto 1d4chan? I see the original 4th edition codex linked here, and I don't want to post it on 4chan like the original 5th edition codex was.
If we're going to do massive imagedumps let's use galleries at the bottom of the relevant article plox. I forget the exact syntax. --Carcer 06:41, 27 June 2008 (UTC)
Done and done. --Errany 13:09, 27 June 2008 (UTC)
There was a new Angry Marine story up on the /tg/ last night about. I've got it saved but couldn't seem to get a show/hide template working for it. If someone could add one I could put the text up. --Scramlaz 13:16, 24 August 2008 (UTC)
Think the page may have been vandalized. 220.127.116.11 18:25, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
Still grammar fail at the top.
Not anymore. It's Angry Marine'd now. >:(
Removed the British hate bit. Stereotype much? THAT should be on the hate list. Besides, I'M British! Not everything is about 'stiff upper lip', you know. Khor'neth- 21:07, 15th June 2017 (GMT)
Why the Angry Marines Hate the World EatersEdit
- World Eaters -
Because no matter how angry they are, the Angry Marines know that the World Eaters have them beaten in the rage department. Even admitting that sends Angry Marines into a homicidal rage.BECAUSE THEY'RE POSER FAGGOTS SUCKING KHORNE'S MOLTEN VOLCANIC COCK YOU FUCKING SACK OF SHIT.
↑ I don't know who made this edit. But I like it. A lot. --MercWithMouth 20:35, 22 November 2011 (UTC)
/// CLOSE CUMGUZZLER, GOOD EFFORT. KHORNE IS AN INSUFFERABLE CUNT, NO DIFFERENT FROM THOSE ELDAR FAGGOTMEN. THE FUCKING EMPEROR WIPES HIS ASS WITH THIS FAGGOTOUS WASTE OF SPACE CUM. PROOF? HE LETS KHARN, HIS IDIOT, TWAT, COCKLOVER CARRY A PLASMA PISTOL. IF HE WERE A REAL MAN INSTEAD OF THE SHITSTAIN HE IS HE'D WIELD A PROPER FUCKING THUNDERHAMMER IN DUAL GOD-DAMNED POWERFISTS. -AngryAnon
Correction: DUEL Thunderhammers in duel Powerfists! -Green
Chronicles of the Angry MarinesEdit
With increased laughs and badassery, the Angry Marines stories just keep getting better and better! Keep it up.Take some time to make your own Angry Marines stories, or at the very least, make better known the Angry Marines to others that they can help recollect their stories and maybe even add some of their own! --MercWithMouth 23:07, 26 March 2012 (BST)
"The Shitkicking Skirmish"Edit
The Angry Marines story, "The Shitkicking Skirmish" remains unfinished.
If you're the author... FUCKING FINISH IT!
Alternatively, if you've seen the story on the /tg/ boards previously, please either finish the story or share some screenshots of the story so that it can be shared here on the 1d4chan.org wiki
--MercWithMouth 06:48, 2 April 2012 (BST)
I know that is says their primarch is unknown, but would be unreasonable to say that it's the Hulk or Asura?
- Make up what you want like everyone else does, but what makes your threeish word fan fiction so awesome that it goes here? Post something epic on /tg/, then see if it is overwhelmingly accepted as /tg/ canon.
Since they are the successor chapters to the desert fangs, whose primarch is good ol' Rachnus
Spammers post below this lineEdit
I eat swag for breakfast. sorry, I had to do it.
I eat skooma and Dank Memes for lunch -Green
Assault Sergeant DickfaceEdit
Gais, as much as I'm a patron of the arts and respect most styles used by artists....really...should this even be allowed on the grounds of quality.....and well,...fuck it, I'm calling Extra heresy on this.
Tactical Mehren (talk) 17:19, 13 August 2013 (UTC)
The hell happened the header image of the Angry Marine flipping someone off? Why was the file deleted? 18.104.22.168 08:19, 13 July 2014 (UTC)
Idea for characterEdit
Oscar Pissedofforius. Oscar was born in the southern continent of Santonum on Planet Africus. He was born without legs and had to have prosthetic ones which he promptly used to beat the living SHIT out of anyone who crossed him. He got recruited to the Angry Marines after he shot his girlfriend for cheating on him with a slaaneshi cultist and is currently a Tactical Sergeant. Seeing as I suck at character writing, that's all I can think of.
- I don't get it. What's the joke? That he's Oscar Pistorious in space? Crazy Cryptek (talk) 10:59, 31 May 2015 (UTC)
- As I said, I suck at character writing. User:Zombiecreeper
JUST CREATED THIS!!! ADD IT TO THE GALLERY OR FUCK YOUR STINKIN`MAMA!!!Edit
Just a request to use my workEdit
I've been writing something of an Angry Marine short story for FanFiction.Net, and was wanting to ask permission to add an link to my Angry Marines story. For the curious who want to judge the work in progresses merit before saying yes... here is the link.
Also, the short story is over halfway done. The next installment will include the Angry Marines notorious, "gene-flaw," and more really cool destruction.
I don't think Angry Marine Terminators have ever really been a thing. No doubt they exist, for they are a mighty tool in spreading RAGE across the galaxy. But I've never seen drawfaggy art of them. --StargateNerd (talk) 22:52, 18 June 2015 (UTC)
Brand new Meme material spottedEdit
Wow, Mr. StargateNerd, you seem to be a pretty great artist, based on your kind criticism. I would really appreciate to look at some of your breathtaking artwork if you wouldn`t mind. I`m sure it is awesome and quite epic, otherwise you wouldn`t give me such helpfull advice and judge my stuff the way you do. Please help me to become a better artist (like you), I`m begging you...
And another one...Edit
Come on. This is about the angry Marines. How can you expect seriousness about something with stories about a dreadnought that rapes an eldar to death or a member called "Dickface" in their "lore"? Maybe you missed the fact that this whole thing isn`t too serious at all and everything BUT canon in the official (stiff) world of GWs 40k universe. --Brother Orkraper
Anyone know this?Edit
We don't take it seriously, no, but 1d4chan isn't your personal advertising space for your works and the general opinion of the stuff you've posted here has been mostly negative. This is why I'm asking you to stop. Also posting as an IP address doesn't hide the fact that it's you, mate. ValkyrieSkies (talk) 13:55, 9 July 2015 (UTC)
What shoulders should I use in army painting then? Red ones with Dark-grey trim (and yellow smile) Or Yellow ones with Red trim (and red smile) There are both variants in web, dunno which one is more... meh... canon :D
Fun Lore IdeasEdit
The Angry Marines do have a gene flaw which causes them to uncontrollably sing along with love music whenever they hear it. This has resulted in Angry Marines developing a quick draw to instantly attack and destroy any and all vox broadcasters playing love music whenever they first hear it.
Fangirlism, much like the Bluhd Rehvehns, the Angry Marines are also renown for attracting an above average amount of attention from Eldar booty. However, unlike the Bluhd Rehvehns who attract Craftworld Eldar, the Angry Marines instead draw the attention of numerous Dark Eldar wych's in need of a proper plowing. More than one boarding action has resulted in the foul Eldar wych's ending up "on bottom" after 'oops' losing a fight against the rage addicted Astartes. After one such boarding action one such defeated foul xeno's was quoted as saying, "I've never felt so much pain in my entire life... and it was totally worth it." According to Chapter records, at least 649 Eldar women and 3 men have been 'put to the sword' by vengeful Angry Marines following battle with that number not including multiple cases of the same individuals...
Fact, Angry Marines have genetically bigger dicks than all other Astartes.
The Angry Marines are on constant bad terms with 'The Salamanders' Chapter due to Angry Marine tactics not giving a f#ck about collateral damage. Where The Salamanders try to avoid killing innocent people, the Angry Marines view people as safety cones being in the way between them and their respective enemies, and that doesn't mean that they won't run them over anyway. In fact, the Angry Marines are one of the few Astartes Chapters capable of making the Salamanders lose their collective shit regarding their blatant willingness to gun down civilians for shits and giggles. This has often proven that the sons of Vulcan, a legion well known for its compassion, can hate... they just need a little bit of genocide to get their first.
The Compendium of Pure Fucking RageEdit
I have a short story I've been concocting that details the early days of the Angry Marines to include their involvement in the Horus Heresy and the centuries that followed. It's a work in progress but I was wondering if this was the kind of thing to post here or what? I love the concept of the Angry Marines and the Reasonable Marines but enjoy writing about just the Angry Marines for the time being.
I'll post the first part of the Compendium if this is the right place and go from there.
-- Sounds interesting, especially if many of their number were loyal World Eaters... Maybe even some of the more ignored Legions including Death Guard. They could band together into some sort of Angry Reaction Force, aka the Fucking Dispossessed, and survive through sheer RAGE, eventually joining the Legion? Not sure if this would be acceptable to the chaps who invented the Chapter but why not post it here and see? - NoPoet
Possible Lamenter ConnectionEdit
These guys are angry, right? Super, insanely, frothingly angry, and they are ALWAYS angry, ALL the time. Also, their armor is yellow. Has anyone considered the possibility that they're a rogue aspect of the Lamenter's Death Company, or possibly have always been part their Death Company, but until recently this was concealed by sending any Lamenters with the Black Rage over to the Angry Marines?
No, if that was the case, then they would not have a primarch. : / -Green
Possible ports from the Angry Marine codexEdit
VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue (talk): Hi chaps, I was wondering if it would be a good idea to port some of the new lore/fluff I've come up with for the Angry Marine codex, specifically the fluff for the new angry marine relics.
Are Angry Marines Mary Sues?Edit
Considering that they are capable of always winning without any cohesive strategy without even the benefit of butchers nails, 30k equipment or massive numbers(Ala World Eaters), they are exceptions to every law of the Imperium, their actions of fighting and humiliating the head of the the Primogenitors, the largest, most powerful set of successor chapters in the Imperium, on a daily basis without any form of consequences, each and every one of their characters are capable of matching up against the most powerful warriors in universe. And they only possess one "weakness", they're REAL.FUCKING. ANNNNNNGRYYYY!!! And of course, this Anger is a *better* kind of anger, not the kind that doomed thousands of World Eaters to horrific, unnecessary deaths, the kind that destroys any hope of battle planning or cohesive assaults, not the kind that dooms a chapter to being utterly destroyed, or the kind that would get them annihilated from suspicion of Khorne worship. It just does not make sense from a lore perspective.
They're not a 'proper' fanon Chapter as the goal is not be believable from the perspective of the universe. It exists to make fun of some of the most stupid parts of the 40k and just generally speaking have fun. So in a way, they are Mary Sues, yes. But they don't go around cockslaping the Necrons back to sleep, punching the Tyrannids so far up their arses they exit the galaxy in a hemoroid-induced hurry, or shout the Eye of Terror into nothingness.
VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue (talk): From a purely fluff standpoint this would be a very interesting point to debate; especially considering that the warp is a thing and we don’t know what warp space filled with the anger of the Angry Marines would be like.
But as they are not a purely based on true cannon they are able to do what they like (they are after all, tg fury manifested), allowing them to have relics like the head of ward or the doom guy gun, or shout across the void of space, and if they were based on proper 40k rules they would probably just turn up as another version of the black templars, which wouldn’t be particularly exciting. Also, if they are Mary Sues then they are the Mary Sues who seek the destruction of all other Mary Sues, which is at least fun to read about.
Also, if you feel that the Angry Marines are too Mary sueish why don’t you write some angry marine stories, we could always do with more writers.
How Is The Doc (talk): I agree with Dark Squirrel and VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue. and then there is the fact that many of the angry marines victories are moral victories, and is far from war-winning triumphs, because they are so fucking destructive.
- Angry Reivers.
VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue (talk): Angry Reivers, “SNEAK!!! SNEAK!!! SNEAK!!! WE ARE FUCKING SNEAKING HERE, NOTHING TO FUCKING SEE HERE!!!” It’s strange seeing stories for stuff written which I wrote the initial fluff for.
Dark Squirrel (talk) Angry Reivers vs Orks and Alpha Legion it'll be. Might throw in some fluff about the relationship between the Desert Fangs and the Alpha Legion if it fits, because apparently it's becoming my thing.
To be fair, you had marvellous ideas. This is my way of stealing them and pretending they're mine!
In reply to the original question of this thread, I assume not since the Angry Marines are a satire (and cannon yey) so I really do not see them being Mary Sues. If they are in fact Mary Sues, one could say the same for One Punch Man. -Green
VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue (talk): Satire is the keyword, we’re not trying to fit the Angry Marines into the canon (as cool as that would be), we just like making cool rules and cool fluff to go with the rules, being considered canon would just be a bonus. Is there a particular part of the fluff you like the most?
I am not really sure, the excessive swearing is quite funny since it is done well and tends to avoid nonsensical strings and I have a habit for quoting random things which makes this page all the better. Also, sometimes all you need is a good story of a bunch of angry faggots throwing logic out the window and beating some heretics. -Green
NoPoet: I have tried to make them more fallible and relatable in my "Angry Titans" novella but you have to walk a fine line between creating sympathetic characters and the superhuman drones that Space Marines seem to have become in 40K. It must also be borne in mind that the Angry Marines are a blow-off of frustration for 40K fans and are designed to amuse above all else.
The dimly lit cabin filled with strained grunts under the sustained G of the drop pod's separation engine. Nine squadmates endured the invisible hand of inertia with an outwards patience and calm borne as much of familiarity as of training, genetic engineering and surgery. Nine squadmates, and one other: equally calm, if less attributable to experience.
The squad sergeant unsubtly looked his new charge over with a practiced eye, assessing everything from bearing to attentiveness. Trooper Ten was of course under significant pressure from acceleration; made worse by the necessity for the Primaris Marine to slump deeply in his crash couch to accommodate his elongated torso. His legs, too, were splayed out awkwardly either side of the sergeant's knees, a sight which filled the sergeant with no end of amusement.
"If I didn't know better, I'd think you were flirting with me, Ten" said the sergeant with a grin that not even his fully enclosed helmet could conceal. Mutterings of laughter echoed around the drop pod as the G eased off, the squad adjusting their positions for re-entry.
"Your customs and humours are strange to me, sergeant." replied the Primaris. "I cannot imagine that Primarch Guilliman would approve of your lack of focus ahead of such an important operation; nor of the..." he stopped suddenly, weighing whether his statement would be received as insubordinate. "...condition of your wargear."
Ten had, perhaps, a point. While his own Mk. X power armour was gleaming, freshly painted in the livery of his adoptive chapter and hand-polished to a shine, the rest of the squad looked as if they'd been dragged feet-first through a chainsword foundry. Pieces of half a dozen different armour marks adorned the squad, and while the detritus of previous warzones had been hosed off as part of ship's quarantine, battle damage was evident on all.
The sergeant in particular was a trainwreck. As Ten's eyes moved down from the sergeant's dented "beaky" helmet to the acid-scarred torso, to the axe-gouged thigh piece, he was perplexed to notice the sergeant's right hand resting with the thumb and forefinger joined to make a circle. As his head exploded with pain, swiftly dampened by his suit's autoapothecary, Ten felt anger rising at the stunning blow from the sergeant's other hand; its brutal strength belying the smaller marine's stature.
The rest of the squad squirmed in their acceleration harnesses to watch as the hull started to whine against the increasingly dense atmosphere.
"Let me show you our customs, Ten" said the sergeant pleasantly, resuming his casual repose and resting one foot on a large reinforced sack full of something that gave a metallic clink under the weight; like gold bars in a concrete mixer.
"My name is Primaris Augustus."
"Your name is written" retorted the sergeant, ejecting a round from his battered boltgun, "on this shell." Ten glanced at it, noticing again that the sergeant had pinched it between thumb and forefinger to form a circle. Before Ten could react, the sergeant slammed him in the crotch with an armoured boot.
"You will have a name if and when you earn it, and wear our colours with the pride they deserve" barked the sergeant. "You carry our geneseed and a very shiny shooter" indicating Ten's immaculately maintained bolt rifle, "and you're big and quick, but Showboat isn't here to tuck you into bed any more."
Ten's choler was rising now. "On Mars, such undisciplined rabble would be liquified and fed to the servitors. I'm surprised that even works" he snarled through gritted teeth and eyes watering from the second blow, pointing furiously at the sergeant's dishevelled weapon. "And the next chaplain I see will hear of your insult to the Primarch."
The sergeant was bellowing with mirth now, barely audible over the roar of the re-entry fireball outside the drop pod hull. "You'll be lucky to see the ship again, Ten, let alone a chaplain" he shouted. "How many combat drops have you done? HOW MANY?" he screamed, almost helmet to helmet.
"TWO INCLUDING THIS ONE" yelled Ten, no longer caring to maintain discipline in the face of the open conflict that had been bubbling ever since his recent arrival with the reinforcement fleet.
"Then listen up, you damned fairy" retorted the sergeant. "I lost count at three hundred, and back then my gear was prettier than yours. You're on work experience, and you'll stay out of our way while the real marines take care of business. Try not to get et." Cocking his boltgun and hefting the heavy sack onto his lap as retro-thrusters slammed into life, the sergeant turned his attention to the exit ramps.
Ten had never felt such rage at being treated so dismissively; as the pod crashed into the planet and the ramps deployed he burst furiously into the light and started laying into the swarm of Tyranid gaunts around the pod with the butt of his rifle. Shards of carapace and foul ichor flew in a maelstrom around him as he unleashed his boiling frustration.
It was several moments before he noticed the Heirophant bio-titan standing over him curiously, like a child examining an ant. The gaunts stopped their assault and backed away as the great beast lowered its head towards him. Transfixed, Ten barely registered the sergeant's voice on his suit comm as the great maw opened to sample a new morsel. What was that psychopath shouting at him?
"SEMPER IRATUS YOU FAIRY".
White hot rage exploded in Ten's brain as he leapt into the Heirophant's jaws, past the rows of monomolecular-edged teeth and deep into the back of its throat; where he hacked brutally at the soft flesh until the swallow reflex clenched bloody blankets of meat around him, forcing him down into the boiling acid in its gut.
Sergeant Ranga and the rest of the squad whooped in joyous ire as they clambered up the legs of the great beast; carving footholds with chainaxes and driving their combat knives deep into its joints. They hacked and mutilated tendons, flesh and carapace; and when the great beast finally collapsed to its knees they hacked it further, revelling in the carnage.
As the bio-titan slumped its distended belly to the battlefield, a gout of blood and meat ejected from what could only be its anus; coating the still heaving hordes of Tyranids and marines in pitched battle around it. Ranga surveyed the dripping orifice with pride and expectation and, as Ten emerged from it headfirst, tossed the Primaris a loose Carnifex talon before darting up to the beast's head.
Still raging, his armour half-dissolved by pungent fluids, Ten hacked into the sphincter until it released him and he fell to the earth trailing gibbets of innards. Landing hard he rolled and, noticing a yellow-armoured perimeter around the Titan's head, ran up the length of the Heirophant's destroyed body dragging the talon and opening the torso like a zipper.
Sergeant Ranga was screaming obscenities and battering the Heirophant's head into a bloody mess, his sack splitting with each giant blow and spilling what appeared to be brass doorknobs onto the ichor-soaked ground. Ten joined him with boot and fist until the last shudder had faded and the enormous biomachine was finally still.
They regarded each other exhaustedly, helmets discarded onto the filth around them, both bearing a resemblance closer to a half-cooked stew than marines of the Imperium.
"You lost your fancy gun" Ranga said with a smirk.
"It snagged on a tooth when I got et" replied the Primaris. "Wait... is that it?" He bent down and reached into an unidentifiable mass of bloody muscle. Ranga watched as the marine's arm went in up to the elbow, freshly coating it in slick blood. When it emerged there was no bolt rifle, but a circle made of forefinger and thumb.
The Primaris slammed his forehead into Ranga's face, sending the sergeant flying backwards and sprawling on the ground. Ranga lay there laughing, crossing his feet and lacing fingers behind his head.
"Welcome to the Angry Marines, Trooper Arsebirth."
Thought for the day: The burden of failure is the most terrible punishment of all.
It seems like we are going a bit overboard with the quotes at the top, maybe we should downsize them? One was fine but this seems excessive. Any thoughts on this? -Green
VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue (talk): I added the two extra quotes because the other chapter pages had at least two, the Dylan Thomas quote is okay but it can be removed if it’s deemed excessive, but the Mark Twain quote is perfect for the Angry Marines. Personally I think three quotes is fine but another quote for thomas’ May be better.
Okay, I guess that is reasonable. Thanks for the point of view. -Green
Angry Primaris Marines?Edit
So Rowbote Gurliman and his senile buddy Cawl have rolled out the Primaris Marines.
How the fuck do they fit in with the rest of the chapter? Do they try to cope with means and methods from M30 - such as meditation and task-based focus, only to lash out when their personal peace is (frequently) interrupted? Or must the big shiny new green-horns be educated in the way of being perpetually pissed off, and ready to cast insult and invective at a moments notice? ~LD
VeryIntelligentShadeOfTheColourBlue (talk): We’re still writing stories about it, as it stands the angry marines only took in (under threat from girlymam and co) the angriest primaris marines, but treated them like complete shit. Overtime some of the primaris marines were accepted (and even admired) for their extreme profanity and fighting prowess, and these marines have banded around captain tantrumus fuckingham (who I’m still working on a model for, my original only had a power sword instead of a 2x4)) with characters like asshole mccuntface and cuntpounder.
We always need more stories writing (and I need to get off my ass and actually finish a load of stories I started but never completed) so if your interested in their fluff why not write some stories of your own.
These people are evidently emotionally incapable of ever being in any mental state other than pure rage. meaning that they can never feel any sort of joy, happiness, or peace of mind. I've actually been as freaking angry as these guys before (autistic sensitivites + elementary school + middle school + too obese to chase down bullies X every frikin' school day = One junior Angry Marine), and I can tell you that irl it eventually morphs into outright despair that the universe will never let you know a single week of peace.2001:4930:48:53:B959:CB9A:FDA3:9BAB 18:02, 25 September 2018 (UTC)
- I am also autistic with ADHD and severe arthritis but what would be the value of taking these issues and making them super-depressing? Humans cope with things by laughing. The Angry Marines help us deal with our own rage and fear by raging for us, kicking the shit out of everything that deserves it, and through it all they remain honest and loyal. I'd say they fulfil a valuable role in the grimdark and miserable 40K universe. They make the damn place fun again like it used to be. NoPoet
Chicken/egg dilemma with barbarian symbol from castle crashers. needs resolving.Edit
so about the angry face in their symbol. those of you who haven't played the videogme Castle Crashers might be interested to see this picture: https://i.ytimg.com/vi/e0QYpUhrI94/maxresdefault.jpg
So my question is, who copied who? did they both copy someone else? shouldn't someone be getting sued for this?2001:4930:48:53:B959:CB9A:FDA3:9BAB 18:15, 25 September 2018 (UTC)
- That's the "Angry faic" from newgrounds,newfriend. It's been spammed to death there as early as 2000-2001.The producers of Castle crashers made flashes there regualrly and even put out a demo for the official Castle crashers.