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Despite being a semi-perverse ERPG d20 sourcebook that should never be played by anyone, it is pretty funny.


New SpellsEdit

Baykdoyre’s Ultimate Lubrication - Makes ogre/halfling crossbreeding a reality.

Alter Breasts - Anything from A to double D, on any gender. Could be used as a decent source of income.

Change Orientation - A spell feared by macho barbarians and fighters alike.

Clothes to chocolate, cream, or oil - For some reason the Farmers' Union hates people using this spell.

Dirk's Impressive Tool - Illusion that makes his secondary weapon seem "enormous" and "beautiful". Can encourage people to tell their friends about it. Requires a sausage for use.

Hypnotic Rump - "Renders the caster's buttocks fascinating beyond belief".

Locate Clitoris - Nothing funny, potentinally useful.

Morning Wood - Save it for when it comes in handy, or maybe just for when it comes in hand.

Onestrum’s Personal Fluidic Enhancer - "Spooge production that would make a titan proud".

Night Visitor - Target gets a visit in the night. They won't get any benefits from sleeping. Requires a feather and a piece of cheese, for some reason.

Prismatic Chastity Belt - Any would-be assailant of the nether planes suffers fire, acid, lightning, poison damage, is turned to stone and teleported to another plane.

Protection from Mingers - Makes it impossible for ugly people to come near you.

Ray of Nipple Hardening- Gee, I wonder what this does?

Vinegar Stokes - Gives the target the sensation of being stuck edging right before orgasm, they can defend but not move or cast spells. A good way to escape.

Summon Sex Partner - Force the summoned creature to service you. There's a warning about meeting said creature outside of the spell. Given that it's practically a rape spell, it should be obvious as to why this is.

Power Word: Orgasm - No save. Stuns the creature somewhere between 1d6 to 3d6 depending on Constitution. A good, non-lethal (if a bit messy) way to escape from battle.

Modified SkillsEdit

Alchemy: Orcish fly, Lubricant jelly, delouser and hot flush.

Concentration: Added rules for casting spells while doing it, and holding off orgasm via Concentration. Fighting naked Amazons is now the bane of wizard concentration checks.

Perform: Can give bonuses to oral and pole dancing.

New Prestige ClassesEdit

Agony Mage: A mage that is good at guessing what you like, and has the power to give it to you. They also have a funny feat called "blameless". This makes the guards search for other suspects even if you are caught performing the crime.

Mystic Pimp: A summoner of adult-rated partners. Streetwise has a feat that tells him your orientation and fetishes and can gain permanent summons.

Seducer: A person that can seduce anyone that is physically capable or not dead. Even a Tarrasque.

Peeping Scryer: He peeps. That's it. He also has a feat called "Never forget an Arse" that lets him identify his peeping victims. Requires level 21st whorcery.

New ItemsEdit

Pop-up Pork-Sword: A club with a catch on the handle. Hitting it makes a 12-inch section spring out that wobbles back and forth. Acts as a +1 weapon but anything that is touched by the sword is affected by Power Word: Orgasm.

Cock Rings: Includes Rings of Quantity, Girth, and Penetration. Not intended for digital use.

Bag of Fondling: Put something inside the bag and the bag will massage it.

Carved Monkey of Spanking: A statue that comes to life. Spanking it renders the user immune to sex effects for 24 hours.

Magic Chastity Belt: A variety of shapes and sizes, from basic arcane locks to casting Burning Hands and summoning a guardian.

Dan's Instant Whorehouse: A small cube that becomes a 40ft square, 10-foot high wooden whorehouse with an ogre bouncer and 2-8 hosts/hostesses of the owner's preference. It's described that people are damaged if caught in the expanding house, adding to its practical uses.

Jockstrap of Impressive Lunchbox: A jockstrap that probes the mind of nearby females, forming the size that is most appealing to them. Remove when in proximity to pixies and other small creatures.

Sexy Sheets: The users appear sexier. They are also self-cleaning.

New creaturesEdit

Colossal Gay Al: A giant allosaur, brightly colored, has a good singing voice and drinks enormous cocktails. Also an obvious South Park reference.

Creamy Ooze: An ooze made out of exactly what you'd imagine.

One-Eyed Trouser Snake: To quote the book: "Many people strive to collect the largest and most magnificent trouser snake they can."

Siren Flower: Lures you in by looking like a naked woman, then shoves a seedpod up your ass.