Joints and Jivers

Getcha dice, suckas

Joints & Jivers was created one day on /tg/ by some people who had 40 minutes of free time. That's about how long it took for a crude ruleset to be created for a comical 70's blax/exploitation genre game. Characters sport afros, move to the rhythm of funk and kung-fu-chop bad guys trying to sow trouble in their neighborhood, fuckas'.

A newer version can be found here, bundled with Modempunk.

According to rumors, Viral will be including Joints & Jivers as a stretch goal for the Engine Heart Kickstarter!

Expanded OptionsEdit

Compiled and created by one Funky Anon circa Jan '09, these expanded class options offer players more defined characters with perks. Each character starts with one Trick to help define their funk, and can choose one of three Vibes to get even funkier.

The set contains three "badass" classes (The Detective, Cowboy, and Wanderer), three "slick" classes (The Hustler, Disco Queen/King, and Leftover) and one "hard mode" character, the Square.

The Detective

Curiosity don't kill this cat - it gives him something to do. Detectives are always getting into trouble, be it for money, justice, girls or the sheer hell of it. If you need somebody found, somethin' solved or just a good night out, the Detective is on the case.

3 Kung-Fu pts. 2 Groove pts. 1 Freak-Out pts.

20 bucks

Crime Knowledge: When somethin' ain't right, you know exactly what's gone down, or at least enough to make a sharp guess. You can roll the bones and make a Funk check to put the puzzle pieces together.


Johnny Law: You work for the Man, but you don't always work with the Man. You get a badge and maybe even backup as the FunkMaster wants it to go down, but watch out - you're two squares closer to Squaresville on the funk bar at all times.

Freelance: You work on your own terms, and you know some people who know some people who know what you need to know. You can count on your brothers for blackup, and you get to groove-slide yourself a notch closer to Far-Out at all times.

Ladykiller: You didn't ask to be a chick magnet; you were just born that way. It takes work, though, so when a girl's on the line, you know you gotta bust a move. Add +2 to any rolls made specifically for impressing the ladies. Don't push it, though, or the FunkMaster might backhand you so hard your head'll spin. For the foxes taking this Vibe, you can call yourself a bona-fide Black Widow and pull the same jazz on the boys.

The Cowboy

Not every cat on the scene is a far-out, funky hipster. Cowboys prefer bars to disco, Fords to Ferraris and fistfights to dance-offs. You'd best show them some respect, else they just might knock you out. If you're in a jam, though, you'll be glad to have a Cowboy on hand.

2 Kung-Fu pts. 2 Groove pts. 2 Freak-Out pts.

20 bucks

Hard Drinker: You can hold your liquor better than any sissy city-boy. You get +4 to Maintain checks when you're hittin' the bottle, but -2 when you're dealing with other funky stuff. When you're drunk, you get +2 Tough.


The Good: Maybe it was the country upbringing or the Good Book, but you can't help but help people. People like to like you, and you get +2 to any checks made to help a brother out, if the FunkMaster approves.

The Bad: You're a mean motherfucker. You're a MEAN motherfucker. You get a +1 to Funk checks when you're staring a punk or ten down, and cats don't care as much just how Far-Out or in with the Man you are.

The Ugly: You don't care about lookin' fly or smooth rides. You're just fulla hurt and you want to share some. Whenever you start a barfight or get in a shootout with some punk-ass motherfuckers, you get +1 to all damage to their sorry Funk.

The Leftover

New-agers, hippies, junkies - the Leftovers are all about tokin', smokin' and takin' anything they can get their hands on. They can get something useful done in the meantime, though, so if you need a hookup, you better know at least one Leftover to help you out.

1 Groove pts. 5 Freak-Out pts.

5 bucks

Master of the Stash: You've learned how to hide things DAMN well, and you know where the likely hiding places are. Take a +2 hit to checks for keeping things hidden (or finding things) under your hat... or in your pockets, pants, socks, shoes, the floorboards, the paneling in your car, a dumpster on 5th street, your afro, or behind your ear, as the FunkMaster approves.


Music Man: You just gotta let it out through song. You can apply Groove checks and points to performing songs. There's no guarantee anyone will like it, or that you're any good, but it comes in handy when you need to prove how Far Out you are or stick it to the Man.

Ad-d-d-dicted: You need your fix, man. When cats get between you and your fix (as the FunkMaster decides), shit goes down, and you get +2 Tough. So long as you're craving, though, your Funk goes down by 1.

Connoisseur: You know your grass, and a whole lot more. When presented with goods, you can discern the quality with a +2 Funk check. Being in the know about this puts you one step closer to being Far-Out, all day, every day.

Disco Queen/Disco King

Step aside, jive turkeys, and make way for the royalty. If there is a dance floor, they will dominate it. If there's a crisis, they will out-dance it. And if there's a superfly lady in need of a rescue, expect them to boogie on up. Hail to the king, baby.

1 Kung-Fu pts. 4 Groove pts. 1 Freak-Out pts.

10 bucks

Saturday Night Fever: You own the dance floor, baby, and that's all there is to it. You know the joints to get joints at, and you're one step more Far-Out that your average fat cat. If the Funkmaster lets you, you can start a synchronized, energized, galvanized dance movement and get the whole club following your moves.


Flailing Limbs: Watch out! You make your moves more vigorously than those who just can't feel the beat, and you might just accidentally smack a fool if they get too close. You can replace Kung-Fu checks with Groove checks, but you're more likely to lose Funk from mussed Threds, Hair or Shades, as the FunkMaster decides.

Old-Fashioned: Classically trained, never restrained. You can bust a ballroom just as easily as the disco floor, and you're considered three steps closer to The Man when dancing with smooth squares from the Queen of England to the preacher's daughter. Other cats call you a step more Far-Out for being the only one on the block who can tango.

Superstar: You aren't content to let the record player do all the work. You can sing up there with the best, and you leave karaoke bars in smoldering flames. Add 40 bucks for a sweet record gig (even if it'll probably burn out) and turn heads with a tune when the FunkMaster thinks it's funky enough.

The Wanderer

Believe it or not, some people seek more out of life than wine, women and funky song. These mysterious cats might save your life or steal your car, but you know they're a different caliber of cool. When your paths cross, show respect to the Wanderer.

4 Kung-Fu pts. 1 Groove pts. 1 Freak-Out pts.

Soul Soles: No ride? No problem. You're used to hoofin' it, and you're just badass enough to look good doin' it. You never get dissed for your lack of wheels, and you get +1 Tough from all that walkin'. You also get +1 to Outrun checks.


Far East: Be it the Land of the Rising Sun or Chinatown down the block, you draw your groove and your moves from the ancient masters. Move yourself east two blocks Farther Out, and take less penalty (or, hell, even a bonus) from getting your Threds messed up, as the FunkMaster decrees is good for the feng shui of the room.

Outcast: Greaser, city slicker, punk or po'boy; you're living the American dream, whether you like it or not. Alternatively, you might be a bouncer, gangster, or Yakuza. Crime does pay, so reach Far Out a step to grab 50 bucks for that leather jacket you've always wanted. You get +1 Tough from all that good food Ma used to make, and a +1 on any checks to swipe what you want.

Secret Power: You don't look the part, but you know six and a half ways to solve any situation with careful application of brute force and slick moves. Maybe you picked it up in the Seals or on the mean streets, but nobody knows since you come off as utterly ordinary. Dock yourself one point in Threds, Hair or Shades, and help yourself to a surprise attack (guaranteed to hit) to start off any brawl, if it doesn't ruin the Funkmaster's day.

The Hustler

Money talks, and Hustlers talk the talk. These slick wheeler-dealers get what they want by convincing other brothers into givin' it up, and their words groove like a Disco Queen on the dance floor. When you gotta seal the deal, call on the Hustler for a favor.

2 Kung-Fu pts. 3 Groove pts. 1 Freak-Out pts.

20 bucks

Smooth Talker: No matter the scenario, you know exactly what to say. Slide in a +2 to Funk checks for weaving words, but don't stutter when the FunkMaster asks you to put your mouth where your money is.


Pimpin' Ain't Easy: You are a businessman at heart, and your business is women. While your employees may need executive management here and there, they're generally reliable and get you an extra 50 bucks to start with. You can also call on them for favors such as food and shelter, and you get +2 to Outrun from being able to keep stride with sprinters in heels.

Strictly Business: Everybody needs something. You are extremely proficient at providing something, be it from Columbia, the "lab" downtown or the discount pharmacy. It works out. Step a step closer to the Man so you can deal with him properly, and pocket 30 bucks. You also get +2 Freak-Out points from "sampling" your wares.

The Negotiator: You can't quite afford to be a good samaritan, but you're a cool enough cat to keep motherfuckers from blasting each other to pieces. When tempers flare and deals need to be made, give yourself another +2 to Funk checks for talking some common sense into people. Your bartering skill gets you a smooth 20 bucks.

The Square

Welcome to Squaresville. Population: this guy. This particular character-class is a hands-tied-behind-your-back challenge for cats crazy enough to think it's hip to be square. After all, high is higher when you start at the bottom. Get out and start your quest for funk!

1 Kung-Fu pts. 1 Groove pts. 1 Freak-Out pts.

50 bucks

Hidden Talent: Maybe you don't own the dance floor, and you can't speak jive, but you know something and can do something other cats can't. Maybe you're a pinball wizard who knows his fine wines, or a dy-no-mite pyro who loves muscle cars. Pick one fly skill and one funky knowledge that the FunkMaster deems solid. Don't try cheatin' your way into being Bruce Lee in square threads, though.


Nerd Rage: People wouldn't like you when you're angry. You may look like a plaid square, but you're really a powderkeg waiting to go off. If someone messes your Shades or your Threads, you go ballistic and get +3 to Funk until the FunkMaster deems him out for the count. Be careful you don't stir up all kinds of trouble when you're ragin', though. Your mild-mannered mojo puts you two cubicles closer to the Man.

Fakin' It: You're a Square at heart, but you can cut a few corners to fit in with the jive crowd - so long as you don't fuck up. You get +1 to Kung-Fu, Groove and Freak-Out points, but if you mess up and roll a 1 on the unlucky bones, you lose them and make a damn fool of yourself. The Funkmaster should make these failures as out-there as possible. You're one poorly-executed moonwalk step closer to the Man when you're fakin' it, and two when your cover's blown.

Stranger in a Strange Land: You're an out-of-towner. You're not square so much from being a nine-to-fiver as from not knowing the first thing about the jive scene in the U.S. of A. Throw darts and pick a place on the globe to be from, and hit yourself in the head until your English is beginner-level. On the plus side, you're fluent in your native tongue, and there's quite a few foxes who love the exotic. Shuffle two steps Farther Out, but don't expect immediate approval from the superfly guys.

Stare-Downs and Talk-DownsEdit

Another contribution from Funky Anon, these work like the dance-off Boogie checks.

Stare-Downs are for when you need to be a mean motherfucker. Roll a d6 + Tough check to scare punks into doin' what you want with mean talk and/or a vicious stare.

Cowboys and Detectives might use this skill more often than others.

Talk-Downs are your "negotiation" skill for cats you don't feel like messing up today. Roll a d6 + Boogie check to diffuse a drama bomb, ask important questions or make a solid deal.

Hustlers are the masters of this skill, especially with the Negotiator vibe, but other high-boogie characters such as the Disco Queen are capable when necessary.

Unlike other checks, you can't spend points to boost these skills (up for debate). Keep in mind that you don't need to make these checks for every word that comes out of your mouth.