Jackie Chan

Small Book.pngThe following article is a /tg/ related story or fanfic. Should you continue, expect to find tl;dr and an occasional amount of awesome.

The Tearing Claw Cabal was an exceptionally fierce cabal from Commoragh. They were notorious for launching massive, surprise attacks on poorly defended worlds. The entire Cabal would attack in one fell swoop, overwhelming the defense of the world and carrying off its hapless denizens as slaves. This tactic would prove their undoing, however, when they attacked the Imperial world Aenean Scalamus.

It was a backwater hive world, whose manufactora provided the sector's naval and guard forces with ladders and folding chairs (an essential if inglorious service). The world seemed easy pickings, its defenses consisting only of some twenty thousand PDF personnel, and a small middle aged man with a baby.

Only ten members of the Tearing Claw Cabal survived the assault on Aenean Scalamus. All quite mad, their tales of the attack were clearly nonsense. To this day they provide endless amusement for the Dark Eldar, and some consternation for their torturers. "I've tried everything, but nothing makes them freak out more than holding a ladder and saying, 'I don't want no trouble.' "

Jackie chan warhammer 40k folding chairs ladder baby I don't want no trouble.jpg