Deffboss

WAAAAAGH!!!

Deffboss, a play on Death Star crossed with Boss and transliterated into Orkish, is an Ork that's been foightin' an' winnin' since the War in Heaven against the Shoiny Gitz, and what with the fact that Orkz grow larger the more they fight, Deffboss is now the size of a planet. An entire Orkish ecosystem exists on his body, billions of orkz manning Deffboss's enormous weapons and fighting on his behalf wherever he brings his sixty million year old WAAAGH!!!.

We are trying to bring about a crossover so that he will face Unicron from Transformers for the ultimate battle of planet sized killing machines. Place your bets now motherfuckers! Once we find a willing writefag who is a fan of Transformers and Warhammer 40k in equal measure, we'll give you the showdown of a lifetime! Wait...why are you guys all looking at me?

The closest in canon Warboss to the size of da Deffboss is The Beast, described as so big that Ork Boys look like toddlers next to him. Needless to say this is smaller than Deffboss



WritefaggotryEdit

'T͘h͢͞is͢͏ ̸i̸̧͢s̸ ̴́͠ţ͏h͢e͢ ҉̕s҉t͜͡ŕ͜͞ik̶͢e͠ ҉͟͏c͜rui͞͞s͏er̶҉ Bli͘n͘d́i҉n̵g͟ Pu̶r͝g͏i͜tat͠ion̷.́ ͝I ͡re͠peat̴:̵ ͘T̡hi̹̘s̬͈̱ͅ ͚̝̻̥i̬̹͎̳s ̟͙t̖̦̣̪̰h͏e stri͢k͏e̡ ̧cr̢u҉işeͨ̓rͤͪͫ̄ͧ,͆ͮͧ̆ͣ t͌heͧ͊͊ͩ́ͮ́ Blinding Purgitation.

We have been engaged by a massive battle-station of Orkish design. Though the weapons are weak, the sheer amount of them, the sheer mass of the ship-'

"Psyker?" The thin man lost his concentration for a moment, looking back at his commanding officer. "Silence!" he hushed him. He reached out with his mind once more.

'-ing. We cannot hold out for long! We've sustained heavy damage and our escape is cut off. Our location is- "Captain!" "Oh shit." "Sweet Emperor!"' It's...alive?'

The transmission of thoughts halted suddenly. The psyker tried vainly to touch minds with his comrade, but it was too late. He felt a hand on his shoulder. "What was it? What did you hear?" The psyker began to answer as a stray thought in the Warp caught his attention. He reached for it through the void, daring to hope it was someone still ali- 'EY! YOU! DEFFBOSS DOESN'T LIKE YOU WEIRD-'UMIES LIST'NIN' IN ON ME!

The psyker dropped dead instantly, a trickle of blood coming from his nose.

The Deffboss RapEdit

Dey call me Deffboss 'cuz Oi'm so mean/ da greetest greenest killin' machine/Oi's lootin' an' shootin' all dat Oi see/ da WAAAAAAUGH! stops an' ends wid me

'umies an' pointy ears dey never see/'cuz Oi'm da greetest kommanda dere be/ Gork an' Mork an' Korn an' Sleench/ dey all cower b'fo' mah choppah's sheen

None o'you 'ave seen an ork like me/ Oi spread greenskins/ ain't no bigg-i'/ mah redboots go fasta' dan weirdboyz on coc'in

Da dakka Oi bring be last ting you see/ puny spess sheeps look silly to me/ dey call me Deffboss Oi makes it real/ wotevah it be/ gear up fo' scrappin'/ tho' chanceless yo' be/ 'cuz Oi'm comin' to thee!